Without fail, at around this time of year, I find myself listening to old Indigo Girls songs. And by listening, I mean keeping a selection of about ten songs on repeat whenever I’m in the car, usually promoting the kids to remark “Mom, you must REALLY like these songs”. And the answer is yes, yes I do really like those songs . . . there’s something soothing about a song that you can still find meaning in 25 years later.
This past weekend, I was flipping through this month’s edition of Elle Canada and came across an article about Camp. With the chaos going on around me, I must admit, I didn’t read the intro or the by-line, but I didn’t have to, to know that the author was written about my old camp (you can see the article here). While the author has a totally different view than mine on what life at camp was like, it prompted me to think a little . . . and to start my annual Indigo Girls play-a-thon (if anyone went to an all-girls’ camp in the 90’s, or even knew anyone who went to an all-girls’ camp in the 90’s, Indigo Girls weren’t just a recurring theme – they were part of the very fabric of camp life).
As I was driving around yesterday running errands and attempting to figure out my life’s purpose, the song Watershed came on. There are 2 lines in the song that get me every time I hear it:
“Every five years or so I look back on my life and I have a good laugh”
“You can stand there and agonize till your agony’s your heaviest load”
I’ve written about it before, and I hate to be a bore, but the last few weeks, well month, really, have been a time of letting go for me, and moving past everything that has defined the last 5 years of my life. The planner, list-maker, and do-er in me is starting to get antsy – I don’t have a clear path as to where I’m going, or what I’ll be doing next. As close friends have been finding and following their passions, I’ve been spinning my wheels, “agonizing” if you will about what my passion is going to be, and when i’m going to figure out what that passion is.
Yup, seems even stupider in writing that it does in my head.
Anyway, as I stand up here on my own little watershed, waiting for change to come, I’m going to do my best to remember that five years from now, I will be laughing at all of this.
And on that happy little note, I’m going to sign off to get back to what I was doing before sitting down to jot this little post . . . cleaning out the basement (I’d love to say once and for all, but really this is becoming an annual thing).
PS. I had an amazing conversation last night with a close friend – she’s one of the people in my life that’s just decided to follow their passion – anyway, as we were talking, I looked up at the sky and saw this . . . rays of sun & cloud shining out in celebration! AC, I’m SO happy for you.