The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.
-Captain Jack Sparrow
If ever there was a phrase to describe how I’ve been acting outwardly and how I’ve been feeling inwardly these past few weeks, it would be “a tempest in a teapot”. Like the saying suggests, I feel very much like I’ve been a force of nature whirling around the house, touching everything and leaving a mess in my wake . . . while inside my thoughts and emotions have been swirling around making it difficult to settle and get myself (inwardly and outwardly) in order.
So, what exactly is my problem?
What has turned me into this whirling dervish?
Well, I’m not entirely sure.
It could be that we’re about to embark on a renovation that is going to render me kitchen-less for about six weeks. It could be that in about eight weeks, my little one will graduate from her little school, a place that has been part of my routine for the last six years, and move on to grade 1, a sure sign that my little ones are really and truly growing up. It could be that if I’m not a mom to little ones, I’m not entirely sure of my role in life. It could be that health issues affecting several people close to me have had me revisiting the time in my life when I had health issues, and all the emotions that surround that time in my life. It could be that I’m standing on the precipice of my life changing in so many ways, and while all of these changes are good, change has a way of making me (just a little bit) scared.
Last night, the kids were begging for a “good breakfast”. I heard tales of how other boys in my son’s class get bacon and eggs EVERY DAY MOM. And how other kids in my daughter’s class get to eat fun cereals like “Frozen Flakes”. So, I compromised as best as I could in the moment, and promised the kids pancakes for breakfast. (I don’t like smelling like bacon when I’m trying to do a workout, so bacon is out as a weekday breakfast food. And “sugar cereals”, well, they’re just not happening in our house. Period). Pancakes, on the other hand . . . well, I can make a reasonably healthy pancake reasonably quickly, that makes everyone happy (even if I did smell faintly of pancakes at the gym this morning . . . sorry Coach). Added bonus: I doubled the recipe, made extra to freeze, so we can reheat them in the toaster when the kitchen renovation is happening.
But I digress. As the kids were eating and I was cleaning up, my son bounded into the kitchen to tell me that there was a beautiful sky outside. Because I was up early to make the aforementioned special breakfast for the kids, I was dressed and presentable enough to grab my camera and run outside. And what I found was a truly beautiful sunrise.
But as I turned to walk back to the house, I was faced with a very different looking sky.
In other words, the skies this morning were kind of like a metaphor for my life. Focusing on all change that’s going to happen, and resisting that change, is like standing glued to one spot looking at the gloomy, grey sky. But opening up to, and accepting the changes that are inevitably coming, I can start to see the good in what is to come, like turning physically around this morning to watch the beauty of the sun rise.
“The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem”.