One of the things I’ve (stubbornly) held onto since the tumour diagnosis/surgery/recovery is that I spent the bulk of my daughter’s first few years of life distracted by what was going on in my own life, and because of that, I never got to spend the same kind of quality time with her in her infancy and toddler-hood that I had wanted to. While the Husband and the million and one photos from that time paint a slightly different picture than the one I have in my head of that period of our lives, it’s sometimes hard to shake how we feel about things.
Since my older one has started at his new school, he’s thrown himself eagerly into the extracurricular activities offered to him – soccer, cross country and choir. As a result, he needs to be at school early – 7:15am early – three times a week, and three times a week, if not more, he’s picked up from school at some point between 4 and 5:00. With my daughter’s school only running from 9am to 2pm, and my decision not to over-program her with activities . . . well, it turns out that we have a LOT of free time together.
In the past two weeks, the two of us have relished or “girl mornings”, “girl afternoons”, and the occasional “girl night” (thanks to all the professional sports going on right now).
Today, as the two of us spent a quiet hour and a half together before she needed to be dropped off at her school, it hit me. The two of us were finally getting our quality time. My dream of getting this time with her was coming true! With the distractions of the tumour decidedly behind me, my mind is quiet, and I have nothing else to focus on but her, and what we can do together that’s fun for both of us. We’ve read, we’ve done crafts, we’ve coloured, we’ve watched some shows, and we’ve even just cuddled.
While the gift of this amazing time I’m getting to spend with my little one isn’t coming exactly when I thought it should have, the fact is, it did come . . .and, well, after all we’ve been through, our time together now is even more special, and we’re both treasuring it more (or at least I am). Which is basically my very long-winded way of saying . . . never give up on your dreams – even if they don’t come true when you really hope or want them to, just keep dreaming . . . you never know how or when they might come true!
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