Coupled with my desire to clean up/out my house is a desire to really make it our “home”.  Or, as my daughter would say “Mommy, you need to put on the finishing touches”.

One of these little touches that I want to add to my kitchen is a framed copy of one of my family’s staple recipes.  It holds a very special place my heart, and I think it already does for my kids too.  So, as my printer was warming up to scan the recipe, I started to poke around on the internet.  And in looking though Brene Brown’s blog, I came across this quote from Harriet Lerner that stopped me in my tracks:

“It is not fear that stops you from doing the brave and true thing in your daily life. Rather, the problem is avoidance. You want to feel comfortable so you avoid doing or saying the thing that will evoke fear and other difficult emotions. Avoidance will make you feel less vulnerable in the short run but, it will never make you less afraid.”

I’ve avoided a lot over the last few years.  I’ve found a LOT of comfort in the aisles of Target and Loblaws and the corridors of Yorkdale.  I told myself, and the unbelievably understanding Husband that we needed all these things.  The kids NEED enough clothes to allow for three changes of clothes per day and the possibility that laundry only gets done once a week; I NEED to have enough toys/crafts/things to do with the kids in the event that one or both get sick and we’re stuck inside without cable and I need to amuse them; our pantry/storage room MUST have enough back up supplies in it that we can go at least a month, if not longer, without visiting a grocery store.  It was a good strategy . . . in that it worked for me for a long time.  But it would appear that I finally got tired of running.

I have lots of theories as to why I needed/wanted to avoid really dealing with the events of the past few years.  And several theories as to what has lead me to the place I find myself in today (thank you Crossfit).  But rather than get into that now, I think I’m going to take my newly-scanned recipe to Michael’s and find a frame for it so that I can finally put those finishing touches on my kitchen.  And for the first time in a long time . . . I can safely say . . . that’s all I am going to come home with!