Welcome 2019 (& Hello to my new One Little Word)

I know the new year is officially here – and by extension I should be tackling all those amazing goals and resolutions I so carefully laid out for myself – but with the kids still off school, we are still very much in a holiday sort of mood.  And by that I mean, we’re in no rush to change out of our pj’s in the morning, there’s far too much screen time being enjoyed by all, Christmas toys are still strewn throughout the house, and the last dregs of the Christmas chocolates and candies are still being surreptitiously enjoyed throughout the day by both kids (and I’m pretending not to notice), and bedtimes have been pushed back far later than ever before.

But all of this holiday indulgence will come to a sputtering end this weekend as activities start back up, and the kids gradually start back into school and regular routines.

Which means, by Tuesday of next week, I’ll be forced to confront all those goals and resolutions I set out for 2019. And I’ll be forced to confront my abject terror of tackling said goals and resolutions.

Yup. That’s right. I said it. Abject terror of tackling my best laid plans.

It came to me this morning as I was writing my morning intentions. I talked about writing intentions way back in 2016 and it’s a practice that I keep coming back to – taking just 5 minutes to jot down an intention I have for the day – and it can be anything from the mundane to the esoteric – seems to set my day off on the right note. But I digress. As I was writing this morning’s intention, this idea of fear of working towards my goals came out of nowhere. But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.

For the past two years I have used “Power Sheets” as a way to establish and track my goals. I usually spend a morning or two between Christmas and New Year’s to go through the process of setting up my goals for the year and thinking about how to go about achieving them – which is all laid out in the opening section of the Power Sheets Planner. And then each month you can set monthly, weekly and daily goals to help you work towards your big yearly goals.

This year was no different – I set up my goals for the year – and I was quite pleased with them.  And then on the 31st of December, I set up my monthly, weekly and daily goals for January.  And I was quite excited.  And then BAM.  The fear hit.  

You see – to achieve some of these goals I’ve set out for myself, I’m going to have to try new things.  And there’s a chance that they’re not going to turn out quite the way I want them to.  And that fear of failure is preventing me from even getting started.

Which is where my word of the year comes in.

But first . . . one more small digression.  A few months ago, while I was still working my way through my year of “magic”, I came across this graphic on Instagram, and instantly, I knew what I wanted my One Little Word to be.

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Yup . . . for 2019, my One Little Word is. . . .Love.

So while I’m still scared to try all the new things I have set out as goals for myself, I am going to do my best to treat myself with love, and maybe, if I can be compassionate towards myself, it will all start to seem a little bit less scary.

And on that note, I wish you all a very Happy New Year – and I hope it is a year filled with love and magic and joy!  

xoxo

 

 

 

Choice Part II (Choosing Happy over Fear)

Choose Happy

So I woke up yesterday morning absolutely terrified.  I had a sense things weren’t going to go well, and I was scared.  I was so scared, that I even, through tears, asked the Husband to meet me at the doctor’s appointment, which I try NEVER to do (handling these appointment on my own is my feeble attempt at bravery).

 

As I was making my way through my morning routine, whirling around the house in a nervous tizzy, I stopped long enough to check on the news and see what new articles had popped up in my blog reader over night.

Which is when the universe stepped in . . . I came across this amazing article on Understanding Fear  . . .and in it was this quote:

“Regardless if you’re a fatalist or into free will, the reasoning is still the same: either all outcomes have already happened and you’re just catching up to the choice you’ve already made or, nothing’s happened yet, there’s plenty of time to make a sound choice and you’re getting worked up over nothing!”.

I fully accept that this same sentiment has been relayed to me over the years; I just wasn’t ready to really hear it  . . . until yesterday.

And as this message slowly sunk in, my outlook on the day slowly started to change.

And I ended up having a spectacularly amazing day.

The appointment with my doctor went better than I could have ever imagined . . . I am overjoyed to report that I all my results came back perfectly normal.  In fact, they were all so normal, that after I have one more round of testing in June coupled with my annual MRI . . . I’ll be freed from MRI’s for THREE years.  Which pretty much means I’m cured . . . It’s now time to really leave all of this “tumour stuff” firmly in the past . . . and move full steam ahead with our lives.

The day also brought some lovely moments with the kids, the opportunity to meet new friend while waiting for my appointment (we were having such a great time chatting, when the Husband arrived, I couldn’t remember why I had asked him to come), and a chance meet-up and dinner with my dearest friend.

When I chose to slowly let go of choosing to give into the fear, and instead chose to look for the good, for the happy, well, shockingly (hah!), I found the good, the happy.

And so I will end this with my favourite refrain.  There is ALWAYS a choice.  We can choose how we live our lives; from what we do with our days to how we care for and feed ourselves and our loved ones.  And we can choose how we respond to the situations we are presented with.  No matter what we do, how “good” we are, or how much “good” we try to do, bad things will happen . . . but we ALWAYS have the choice in how we respond.

Have a great day and I hope you too can choose happy today, regardless of what gets thrown at you.

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